The Music Elitist

If you follow music news you’re probably aware of the unusual amount of band reunions that have happened in the last 6 months or so. No Doubt, blink-182, Limp Bizkit, Creed, Sunny Day Real Estate, The Get Up Kids and many more have all announced reunions of some kind whether it be a tour, a new record or both.

My theory on this recent boom in band reunions is that the economic downturn this country (and the world in general) has experienced is forcing artists to go back to what people are familiar with and what made them popular in the first place because it is more secure. Being an entertainer is probably one of the most volatile careers because you can be at the top of the world one day and then back at the bottom the very next.  If you don’t keep people interested, you’re gonna lose them. And in a time when people are picking and choosing what they want to spend their money on, things like music and movies may be the first thing people cut out.

When it comes down to it, most people would rather listen to blink-182 than +44 or Angels & Airwaves. More people would probably rather listen to No Doubt than Gwen Stefani’s solo material (I know I sure as hell would).

This is definitely not me trying to fault these artists in any way. In times like these you gotta do what you gotta do. And on the contrary, with the exceptions of Creed and Limp Bizkit, I am pretty happy and excited about most of these reunions. At least this recession has brought us something positive.

It appears that all hopes of a Led Zeppelin reunion without Robert Plant have gone bye bye. And thank God for that. Could you imagine Led Zeppelin with Chris Cornell, Steven Tyler or even worse yet…Myles Kennedy singing for them? John Bonham would probably rise from the dead and beat the living fuck out of Jimmy Page using only his drumsticks. Oh, but there’s even BETTER news in this article:

Thankfully, however, it looks like Creed won’t be reuniting either as plans to draft Alter Bridge singer Myles Kennedy — or any singer for that matter — for Plant’s spot look dead as well. Mensch admits the band auditioned some new frontmen, but “no one worked out.” “That was it. The whole thing is completely over now,” Mensch added. “There are absolutely no plans for them to continue. Zero. Frankly, I wish everybody would stop talking about it.”

Thankfully?! Hahahaha! Even Rolling Stone writers hate Creed! This is fantastic. 2009 now looks about 85% better for music. Now if only we could stop that Limp Bizkit reunion from happening…

Google has taken the liberty of naming the worst band in the world. I gotta say I am pretty pleased with the results. Hopefully, Creed will take this into account before they finalize that reunion tour they have been planning.

According to absolutepunk.net, Killswitch Engage are heading back into the studio to record their fourth album and will be embarking on a pre-release tour shortly thereafter. This is great news considering most of what I have heard about 2009 regarding music has made me want to vomit (i.e. – Creed reunion, Limp Bizkit reunion and a new Daughtry album).

As I did in today’s earlier post, I want to take a second to rant some more about the current state of metal. There are a lot of people who consider bands like Killswitch Engage, Trivium and Underoath to not be REAL metal, because they have enough talent to incorporate catchy melody into their songs. I like to call these people inbred, white trash retards. They tend to HATE bands like this and LOVE bands like Children of Bodom, Cannibal Corpse and Opeth. The basically consider metal with clean guitars, clean vocals, melody and any drumming rhythm other blast beats to not be “real metal”. If thats the case, I guess I don’t listen to real metal, I listen to GOOD metal.

Bring on the hate mail!

It appears cock-rockers Creed are in the middle of planning a reunion tour for 2009. I honestly can’t think of any music news I have heard this year that has made me want to blow my own brains out as much as this has. Scott Stapp is an absolute PR nightmare. I can’t believe anyone in the music industry is even willing to work with him at this point.

While the prospect of Creed reuniting is quite frightening, there was an even MORE disturbing piece of news in this article

…Stapp promptly embarked on a solo career, while guitarist Mark Tremonti, drummer Scott Phillips and original bassist Brian Marshall formed Alter Bridge with vocalist Myles Kennedy and released two albums….However, Kennedy is rumored to be the top contender to replace Robert Plant for a tour with Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones.

So the singer of Alter Bridge (which is basically a second rate Creed) is going to be replacing Robert Plant on tour with Led Zeppelin….WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! Clearly Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones have both lost their minds. Its bad enough they were going to go on tour without Robert Plant, but to replace him with the lead singer of Alter Bridge is just going way too far. Bonham’s rolling in his grave.

The only positive I can see in this whole situation is that if Creed decides to take Nickelback and Hinder on tour with them we can get all three of those bands in the same place and bomb the first arena they play in, also eliminating some of their fans in the process. Anyone reading this have access to explosives?

EDIT: (Quick note to Homeland Security: OBVIOUSLY I’m joking. Please don’t arrest me)