The Music Elitist

Someone sent this my way today. I was very impressed. Enjoy!

For those of you who saw South Park last night, I’m sure you were waiting for this as much as I was. But, shockingly Kanye did what I hoped he would do. It seems like he actually took the criticism pretty well, and even found it funny. Unfortunately he insists on typing in all caps and I don’t feel like editing, so I apologize for you having to read it like this:

SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT’S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF “I TOLD YOU SO!!!” IT’S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU’RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE’S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I’M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I’M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I’M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I’M SURE THERE’S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS… THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW IT’S ME!

He even acknowledges his shitty typing. I really have nothing bad to say about this. Glad the guy has a good sense of humor and he’s actually making an effort to stop being such a drama queen (or so he claims). We’ll see how this plays out.

Oh how I wish this were an April Fools joke, but it definitely isn’t. Now That’s What I Call Music 30 is in fact the top-selling album this week on Billboard’s Top 200. For those of you who have lived under a rock since 1998, Now is a series of compilations of all of the most popular songs at the time of release. So, obviously about 95% of the songs on these comps absolutely suck. Just check out the track listing for this installment of the series:

1. Lady GaGa featuring Colby O’Donis – “Just Dance”
2. Britney Spears – “Womanizer”
3. Christina Aguilera – “Keeps Gettin’ Better”
4. Kevin Rudolf featuring Lil Wayne – “Let It Rock”
5. Kanye West – “Heartless”
6. Ne-Yo – “Miss Independent”
7. John Legend featuring André 3000 – “Green Light”
8. Rihanna – “Rehab”
9. Pussycat Dolls – “I Hate This Part”
10. Pink – “Sober”
11. David Archuleta – “Crush”
12. Miranda Cosgrove – “About You Now”
13. The All-American Rejects – “Gives You Hell”
14. David Cook – “Light On”
15. Saving Abel – “18 Days”
16. Nickelback – “Gotta Be Somebody”
17. Katy Perry – “Thinking of You”
18. Jason Mraz – “I’m Yours”
19. Taylor Swift – “Love Story”
20. Keith Urban – “Sweet Thing”

Britney Spears, Nickelback, Pussycat Dolls and Katy Perry should be MORE than enough reason to not spend money on this compilation. I don’t even know who the hell Miranda Cosgrove is. That Kevin Rudolf song is only popular because everyone thinks its a Lil Wayne song. I guarantee we’ll never even hear another single from him on the radio unless he managed to get Justin Timberlake on one of his songs too. However, I will say that I do kinda dig that John Legend/Andre 3000 song. So I guess there’s the 5%.

Photo: Theo Wargo/WireImage

I’ll wait for you to stop laughing at the headline….

Done? OK. The Jonas Brothers said that they would like to work with a hip-hop artist like Common, Lupe Fiasco or Mos Def for one of the songs on their new record:

“There’s a song we wrote recently and we were thinking … it does sound different and kind of strange, and [we'd like to work with] a rapper who has some real meaningful lyrics,” Nick, the self-proclaimed “most hip-hop” Jonas, told MTV News. “[Someone who] has some real depth to what he’s saying — someone like a Common or a Lupe Fiasco or a Mos Def. Someone who takes more of a spoken-word approach. That’d be really cool.”

Kevin said that they definitely appreciate hip-hop, hinting that adding that type of vibe to the album is definitely a possibility. “We have a hip-hop bone in us somewhere,” Joe added.

Saying you’re the “most hip-hop” Jonas means about as much as saying you were the “least beaten” Jackson. Seriously though, if any of the artists he listed actually ends up working with these douchebags, I stop listening to said artist. The problem is that the hip-hop artists he listed have too much integrity to blatantly sell out like that. However, I will make the prediction that either Kanye West, Lil Wayne or 50 Cent offers to work with them after reading this news. Those guys’ll make a guest appearance on ANYONE’s song.

Photo by: MJ Kim (Getty Images)

Kanye West recently filmed an episode for VH1’s Storytellers. Seeing as how this is a show that features more talking than performing, you can understand why Kanye might have been a bad choice:

Kanye West weighed in on the alleged altercation between Chris Brown and Rihanna during a February 13 taping of VH1’s “Storytellers,” although his comments will not appear in the show.

According to a Reuters report, at one point during the taping West asked the crowd, “Can’t we give Chris a break? … I know I make mistakes in life.” Brown, who was arrested during the Grammys and booked on suspicion of making criminal threats, a felony, has not been charged in the case.
West also reportedly received loud applause when he followed by saying, “Michael Jackson, amazing. Michael Phelps, amazing … He’s a real f—in’ person; he makes mistakes.” West also made a rather puzzling comment about O.J. Simpson, saying, “O.J. Simpson, amazing. Is he not? What he did, when he did, what he did. Was he not amazing, though?”

What’s funniest about all of this, is that none of it is surprising in the least. When you give Kanye West a microphone, you’d better hope he just uses it for (auto-tuned) singing or rapping because God only knows what will come out of his mouth otherwise. Defending Phelps is one thing, all he did was smoke pot. But defending the guy who beat the hell out of his girlfriend and then the guy that MURDERED his ex-wife? Its not even like O.J.’s been in the news lately or anything. Oh, Kanye, what an enigma you are.

Lil Wayne’s next album Rebirth is scheduled for release April 7th. But the sound is apparently going to be quite different from that of Tha Carter III:

Lil Wayne announced the official release date and title of his next album: Rebirth is due April 7 — and his publicist has confirmed to MTV News that it will be a rock album. Of course, Wayne has been rocking with a guitar for some time now.

The first single is called “Prom Queen” and will debut on the Internet right after a live stream of his concert in San Diego on January 27. The show will be available for stream on MySpace.com.

I gotta say, I am quite excited to hear about this. What if its actually good? What if THAT’s the reason they pushed 50 Cent’s album release date back. Or it could just be the fact that no one is talking about Before I Self Destruct unless they’re talking about 50 Cent shit-talking Kanye West or Lil Wayne.

So 50 Cent must have a new record coming out because he’s starting beef with Kanye West again, and this time he even decided to include Lil’ Wayne. I guess whenever he has a new album coming out, he pulls out the charts for the past couple years and just picks on whatever hip hop artist sold more records than he did. This time there were two.

When Kanye released 808s & Heartbreak, he blogged that 50 Cent would love it, but on the radio 50 finally responded by saying the album was “an R&B record.” “I’m surprised he got away with it,” 50 said. “That album is supposed to be a brick.” 50 also mocked Kanye’s singing skills. 50 had equally harsh words for Lil Wayne, saying the Carter III rapper was a “junkie” and a “little baby.” “[Wayne] had a great album,” he said, “but he makes a lot of records and I think he’s gonna exhaust the public with his sound. He’s a talented artist, but if you put us in a space where we’re in competition, my consistency will break his neck.” Fiddy then dared — almost pleaded — for both rappers to respond, probably in an attempt to keep his name in the papers and blogs before Self Destruct is released.

I like how Fiddy’s criticizing Weezy for making too many records. It’s called “staying in the public eye”, Fiddy. You might wanna try it sometime. Maybe you’ll actually win the next time you try and publicly compete with another artist for record sales. Speaking of which…aren’t you supposed to have retired?

New (emo) Music Tuesday

Fall Out Boy and the All-American Rejects BOTH released their new records today in an apparent attempt to bring about the apocalypse. And My Chemical Romance appears to be in on it as they re-released 2004’s Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge on vinyl today as well. But, in all seriousness the Fall Out Boy album is pretty good, so go pick it up today.

Kanye Sucks it Up on SNL

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8YmUiRN-GI]

Come on people, what did you expect? This dude’s had a song on the radio for months now that showcases his ability to use auto-tune and a vocoder and you expect him to sound good live? Pssssshhhh!

Gabe Saporta’s voice is all kinds of fucked up.

Cobra Stars….fuck that… former MIDTOWN frontman Gabe Saporta will be going into surgery tomorrow morning to fix the vocal chords that he has so carelessly destroyed over the last 10 years or so. This happened to Davey Havok a few years ago, but HE’S IN AFI. Somehow I can’t see Cobra Starship’s indie-dance-pop-rock taking a huge toll on a singer’s voice. I’m just gonna assume it was all those years in Midtown and Cobra was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or maybe it’s all the cocaine.

When I made my last 2008 countdown post, I was originally going to do the top 10 worst ALBUMS of 2008. Then I realized that to make a fair assessment of those albums, I would have to listen to them. Now, there’s no way in hell I would ever put myself through the kind of sick, twisted torture that listening to an entire Nickelback album would entail. So I just decided to rip on the popular songs from those albums instead. So without further ado, here are my Top 10 favorite albums from 2008 (in no particular order):

Anberlin – New Surrender

I have been a fan of this band since 2003’s Blueprints for the Black Market. I have enjoyed all 4 of their albums immensely. I actually have a very hard time deciding which one I think is the best. The release of this record was quite a big deal mainly because it was Anberlin’s first major label album (their first 3 having been released on Tooth & Nail Records). The other reason being that during the recording of the album, front-man Stephen Christian’s car was broken into (not sure if he was living in Orlando at the time, but it wouldn’t surprise me) and his laptop – containing Garage Band files for every song on the record – was stolen. The album was obviously delayed, but it all ended up coming out just fine. All in all its just a good, catchy, melodic rock album.

Standout Tracks: “Breaking” (co-written by Butch Walker), “The Resistance” and “Burn Out Brighter (Northern Lights)”

Weezer – Weezer (The Red Album)

Now, I don’t expect most of the records I list here to be even considered for a “Top of 2008″ list by anyone else but me, but the fact that I did not see it on Spin OR Rolling Stone’s lists this year is appalling. This was the best record Weezer has put out in 12 years. Yet, somehow Maladroit (widely considered by most Weezer fans to be their worst release to date) made it onto Spin’s Top 40 Albums in 2002. The epic “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived” alone makes this album well worth the listen. But if you need other reasons, this was also the first album Rivers Cuomo steps back from the mic on a couple of songs and lets the other guys sing (guitarist Brian Bell on tracks 6 & 7, bassist Scott Shriner on track 8 and drummer Pat Wilson on track 9). Musically it is also one of the more creative albums Weezer has ever put out. If I haven’t given you enough reason to check this album out, then you’re hopeless.

Standout Tracks: “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived”, “Heart Songs”, “Everybody Get Dangerous” and “Cold Dark World”

Kanye West – 808’s and Heartbreaks

I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. This guy is the biggest crybaby/egomaniac/insecure fuck I have ever seen in my life. I have tried so hard to hate this record simply because its Kanye West. But, its just so damn catchy you can’t really resist it. Whats absolutely insane is that this record was recorded in all of 3 weeks. Basically this album has everything going against it being good, and it still is. So, I find that to be pretty impressive. Kanye West has made a leap away from hip-hop, but its definitely still there. This is especially true on tracks like “Heartless” and “Paranoid”. But if you have been avoiding this record because you hate Kanye West, I recommend giving it a shot because it’s actually one of the best things I have heard this year. Now if we could only get him to keep his mouth shut when he isn’t singing/rapping, we’d be set.

Standout Tracks: “Amazing” (feat. Young Jeezy), “Paranoid” (feat. Mr. Hudson) and “RoboCop”

Fall Out Boy – Folie a Deux

I know, I know…the album doesn’t come out for another week. However, 4 of the songs have been released as singles on iTunes over the last few months and I managed to get my hands on the full release this week. After listening to it through twice, it was already clear to me that this was definitely one of the top 10 albums I have heard this year. The albums first single “I Don’t Care” doesn’t nearly do it justice. But its clear that they chose that and the album’s second single “America’s Suitehearts” because they sounded the most like the Fall Out Boy everyone is used to. But when you get to songs like “Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet” and “What a Catch, Donnie” (which features guest appearances by Elvis Costello and half of the Decaydance Records roster singing Fall Out Boys older hits) its obvious these guys are tired of just playing plain ol’ pop punk. People like to talk a lot of shit about these guys, but you know what: They worked their asses off to get where they are, they write insanely catchy melodies and Pete Wentz writes some of the wittiest lyrics of our time. Oh, and YOU try singing like Patrick Stump.

Standout Tracks: “Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes”, “She’s My Winona”, “The (Shipped) Gold Standard”, “What a Catch, Donnie”

Atmosphere – When Life Hands You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold

This album definitely wins the “Best Titled Album of 2008″ award. But on top of that, its probably Atmosphere’s best since Godlovesugly. I actually can’t think of a song on this record that I don’t like. The first time I heard a song from this record was when I was in L.A. this summer and I heard “You” on KROQ. I was, first off, blown away by the fact that there are rock stations in the U.S. that play decent music (cause in Florida…they ALL blow. THANKS CLEAR CHANNEL!) and secondly that they were playing an Atmosphere song on the radio. But the fact that I actually liked the single told me that the album was gonna be good. And I was right. Slug is a little less “emo” and a little more drama-free these days it seems. And while it was the drama that fueled amazing recordings like Lucy Ford: The Atmosphere EPs, I think I like happy Slug a lot more.

Standout Tracks: “Puppets”, “Dreamer”, “Shoulda Known” and “Yesterday”

Gym Class Heroes – The Quilt

The lyrics may be a bit on the cheesy side sometimes, but as a whole, this record is pretty good. When I heard “Cookie Jar” the first time I was a bit worried about how the rest of the album was going to sound because it was obvious that song was made specifically for mainstream hip hop radio. But after the opening track (“Guilty as Charged”) begins, its clear that this is much more than just a hip hop record. Two of the tracks (“Live a Little” and “No Place to Run”) even border on pop punk. The record was produced by Fall Out Boy front-man Patrick Stump and he even lends his vocals to a couple of the tracks (“Blinded by the Sun” and “Catch Me If You Can”). However, unlike a few of the songs on their last album (including “Cupid’s Chokehold”, the only one you probably know ), Stump’s voice is used primarily as background. I can’t be sure, but I think with this record Gym Class Heroes really want to prove that they are more than just “that hip hop band that has that song with the guy from Fall Out Boy”. As far as I’m concerned, they accomplished that.

Standout Tracks: “Guilty as Charged” (feat. Estelle), “Peace Sign/Index Down” (feat. Busta Rhymes), “Blinded By the Sun” and “Catch Me If You Can”

Alkaline Trio – Agony & Irony

While I don’t feel that this album is quite as good as their previous effort (2005’s Crimson…which didn’t leave my car CD player for an entire summer) this is still better than most of the crap I have heard this year. I was actually pretty addicted to the first single (“Help Me”) for a couple of months. Singer/guitarist Matt Skiba said that during the writing and recording of this record he “was listening to a lot of Pat Benatar, Def Leppard and a lot of 80’s MTV music.” And I can definitely see that being the case because they certainly up-ed the usage of synthesizers on this record. Musically, there isn’t a whole lot that wows me about Alkaline Trio EXCEPT for their drummer Derek Grant. He is probably one of the more creative punk drummers out there and it definitely shows on Agony & Irony.

Thrice – The Alchemy Index, Vols. III & IV: Air & Earth

Thrice never ceases to amaze me. Had I been doing this blog last year, The Alchemy Index, Vols. I & II: Fire & Water would have made my top 10 of 2007. The Air disc is comprised of very ambient post-hardcore/indie rock, while Earth is all stripped down, acoustic and sometimes folk sounding. The first track on this record that really caught my attention was “Broken Lungs” from their Air disc. Despite the fact that this song makes front-man Dustin Kensrue sound like a 9/11 Truth nutjob, its probably my favorite song out of all 4 Alchemy Index EPs. However, while these 4 Eps have been a cool little concept thing for Thrice to do and I love the fact that the have become so experimental with their music, it’d be nice to see them release something similar to The Artist in the Ambulance again. Here’s hopin’.

Standout Tracks: “Broken Lungs”, “Silver Wings”, “Moving Mountains” and “Come All You Weary”

Underoath – Lost in the Sound of Separation

Underoath is the Radiohead of metal. Or at least they are trying to be. If you don’t believe me, just look at the album cover. Feel like you’ve seen it before? But its more than just the album cover. Underoath are taking a very progressive approach to metal (and have been since 2006’s Define the Great Line). The band seems to be writing consistently harder, more complex music and front-man Spencer Chamberlain’s screams seem to be getting lower and more aggressive. But, at the same time, drummer Aaron Gillespie’s vocal parts have become catchier and more melodic. When The Almost first started and I read about Gillespie’s aspirations of being the next Dave Grohl, I have to admit that I chuckled a little. But the more I listen to this guy’s drumming and singing (and especially after seeing him do both at the same time flawlessly live), the more I think his chances of realizing that dream are pretty good.

Standout Tracks: “Breathing In a New Mentality”, “Anyone Can Dig a Hole But It Takes a Real Man to Call It Home”, “The Only Survivor Was Miraculously Unharmed” and “Desperate Times, Desperate Measures”

Lil’ Wayne - Tha Carter III

I realize how cliche’ this is becoming for “best of” lists this year, but there’s a reason: this record is REALLY GOOD. I wasn’t going to leave this off of the list simply for the sake of being different. I think the reason Lil’ Wayne became such a “household name” in hip hop (and popular music in general) in the last few years is because when you hear Lil’ Wayne, you know its him. And by that I mean his style and voice are so distinctive that it is impossible to mistake him for anyone else. That and the fact that its difficult to hear a song on the radio anymore that he doesn’t appear in for at least 5 seconds. Hell, he even showed up on the Country Music Awards this year playing guitar on-stage with Kid Rock. I’m not saying performing with the king of trailer trash is necessarily the best thing for his career, but my point is that he is EVERYWHERE and (from the looks of it) unstoppable.

Standout Tracks: “3Peat”, “Mr. Carter” (feat. Jay-Z), “Phone Home” and “Let the Beat Build”

I’m pretty sure this was aired on Monday night. But in any case, since the segment aired, Kanye West has already responded to the criticism (surprise, surprise) through his Twitter account by asking simply “Who the fuck is Stephen Colbert?”. Well, Kanye,  Stephen Colbert would be the guy who got his own show on Comedy Central back when people were still asking “Who the fuck is Kanye West?”.

Someone should tell him those probably don't have proper UV protection

Look, Kanye, I’m gonna be honest with you. Your music over the last few years has been great and I will not lie about the fact that I enjoy it. Hell, your new record is even starting to grow on me. I think what you are doing musically is very “outside the box” lately and thats awesome. HOWEVER, when you start comparing yourself to music legends like Phil Collins, saying you’re gonna be the next Elvis Presley and declaring yourself as the voice of this generation, people are gonna start thinking of you as a pompous douchebag and stop taking you seriously. And the bitching and moaning every time you don’t win an award over someone else doesn’t help either.