The Music Elitist

I’ve lived in Florida my whole life and something I hear from people constantly is “I hate the radio” or “The radio sucks.” If you’ve ever listened to radio in Florida, you know those statements aren’t an exaggeration. But while all radio does in one way or another suck (no matter what state you’re in) I want to focus mainly on rock station formats in Florida.

I never listen to the radio in Orlando because the only rock station I get here is 101.1 Real Rock. This station is absolutely deplorable. Just take a look at the songs they have played in the last hour:

• Sixx A.M. – Life is Beautiful
• Silverchair – Tomorrow
• Sublime – What I Got
• Papa Roach – Lifeline
• Foo Fighters – My Hero
• Marilyn Manson – The Beautiful People
• Saving Abel – Drowning (Face Down)
• Third Eye Blind – Graduate
• Saliva – Family Reunion
• Nirvana – Lake of Fire
• AC/DC – Rock ‘n Roll Train
• Godsmack – Awake
• Slipknot – Dead Memories
• Drowning Pool – Bodies

Now, with the exception of Foo Fighters, Nirvana, Sublime and Third Eye Blind, that’s a pretty awful hour of music. Like I said, I have lived in Florida my entire life and radio has pretty much been this way the whole time. Even when I was living in South Florida the rock stations just constantly played bad music like this (with the exception of 103.1 The Buzz, but they’re not owned by Clear Channel so that’s probably why). I assumed it was just the fact that big radio stations owned by Clear Channel all play horrible music. But when I visited California last summer, my eyes were opened. Here’s KROQ’s current Top 25 most played songs:

1. Green Day – Know Your Enemy
2. Silversun Pickups – Panic Switch
3. Kings of Leon – Sex on Fire
4. Apocalyptica feat. Adam Gontier – I Don’t Care
5. Kings of Leon – Use Somebody
6. Big B feat. Scott Russo – Sinner
7. Rancid – Last One to Die
8. The Offspring – You’re Gonna Go Far Kid
9. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Zero
10. Incubus – Black Heart Inertia
11. Incubus – Love Hurts
12. Cage the Elephant – Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked
13. The Airborne Toxic Event – Sometime Around Midnight
14. Rise Against – Audience of One
15. The Killers – This is Your Life
16. Far – Pony
17. Anberlin – Feel Good Drag
18. Hollywood Undead – Undead
19. Asher Roth – I Love College
20. 311 – Hey You
21. White Lies – To Lose My Life
22. Depeche Mode – Wrong
23. Coldplay – Life in Technicolor II
24. The Offspring – Half-Truism
25. U2 – Magnificent

When we were driving around L.A. we listened to KROQ for 15 min and in a row I heard Foo Fighters, Sum 41, Atmosphere and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I was flabbergasted. Not one Nickelback or Godsmack song. Now, obviously Clear Channel wouldn’t keep Real Rock here in Orlando for so long if there wasn’t a market for it. If the amount of white trash I am surrounded by on a daily basis is any indication, there clearly is. And THAT’s why radio in Florida sucks. Because apparently the majority of people in Florida have horrible taste in music.

The Grammy nominee announcements once again proved how out of touch the more-than-likely 85 year-old voters are with whats really going on in music. However, I will say that this years nomination leaders are a just a little better than usual (Lil’ Wayne, Coldplay and Radiohead). But let’s focus on a few specific categories here.

First, lets start with New Artists, because this award ALWAYS disappoints. This years nominees are:

• Adele
• Duffy
• Jonas Brothers
• Lady Antebellum
• Jazmine Sullivan

Ok. Its really sad that the only artist on this list whose name I recognize is the Jonas Brothers. Who the hell ARE the rest of these people? After doing some quick internet research (i.e. – going to Wikipedia and checking these artists numbers for the past year), I found that the only one of these artists that’s really done well in THIS COUNTRY (the country where the Grammys take place) are the Jonas Brothers. Which would be the reason why they are the only ones I have heard of. It amazes me that a decent amount of people in this country still watch the Grammys every year given the majority of nominees aren’t even popular here. Not that I am saying only popular music should be nominated, but something’s not adding up here.

Lets move on to something I am more at liberty to talk shit about: the rock category nominees. Here are the nominees for Rock Album of the Year:

• Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends
  Coldplay
  [Capitol Records]
• Rock N Roll Jesus
  Kid Rock
  [Atlantic]
• Only By The Night
  Kings Of Leon
  [RCA Records]
• Death Magnetic
  Metallica
  [Warner Bros.]
• Consolers Of The Lonely
  The Raconteurs
  [Third Man/Warner Bros.]

Ok, now I have to give them props for the nominations of Coldplay, Kings of Leon and the Raconteurs. Three bands I have absolutely no problems with. HOWEVER, its clear that two of these artists do not belong here. Kid Rock???!!!! Do people even still listen to this guy? Nominating Kid Rock for a Grammy is like nominating George W. Bush for a “World Leader of the Decade” award. And don’t even get me started on Metallica. Death Magnetic is (as I predicted before its release) the most god-awful piece of shit I have ever heard. The fact that it was even CONSIDERED for being nominated is a tragedy.

While we’re talking about Metallica, let’s talk about the category that pissed me off the most: Best Metal Performance:

• Heroes Of Our Time
  DragonForce
  [Roadrunner Records]
• Nostradamus
  Judas Priest
  Track from: Nostradamus
  [Epic]
• My Apocalypse
  Metallica
  Track from: Death Magnetic
  [Warner Bros.]
• Under My Thumb
  Ministry
  Track from: Cover Up
  [Megaforce Records]
• Psychosocial
  Slipknot
  [Roadrunner Records]

Wow. If I had to pick one category that these voters DEFINITELY know nothing about, it’s metal. However, I once again have to recognize that they did pick Dragonforce and I don’t care what anyone says about that band….YOU try playing “Through The Fire And The Flames” on Guitar Hero 3. But seriously, SlipKnot???? I can name about 10 other metal bands that released music this year that should have gotten Grammy noms over these ‘tards. in fact, here they are:

Underoath

Lamb of God

Bullet for My Valentine

Protest the Hero

Shai Hulud

Walls of Jericho

Norma Jean

All That Remains

Trivium

Haste the Day

In any case the bottom line is, the Grammys are still lame. I won’t be watching them. But here is a list of the rest of the nominees if you wanna check it out.