The Music Elitist

Source: re1000.wordpress.com

So I recently moved from Florida to Brooklyn, New York and I have been exposed to a bit of the local music around here. A lot of it were bands that I had already heard, but there’s been a few that were new to me.  I have for the most part enjoyed the music I have heard, but honestly, a lot of these bands (and their die-hard hipster fans) need to just get over themselves. I think I have less of a problem with their music than I do with how they act like it’s the greatest music ever created. It just seems like anything that isn’t neo-folk, lo-fi, electronic or psychadelic is considered to be inferior music by these people and it really pisses me off.

Don’t get me wrong, I like a lot of these “hipster bands”. Grizzly Bear’s record is great. I dug some of MGMT’s songs (though ANYONE can make songs in Garage Band on a Mac…it’s not that difficult). But I just can’t imagine listening to ONLY these types of bands. But if you ever mention a band that you like that is outside this little musical boundary these hipsters have created (or rather, websites like Pitchfork have created), you are instantly not cool anymore. Take Thrice for example. It’s not really considered cool to listen to a band like Thrice anymore. But those guys have consistently been putting out great music (especially their newest record Beggars) and most of their old fans have missed it because they have “moved on” so to speak. It’s not cool to listen to a band you may have liked 5 or 6 years ago. But that also has a lot to do with the music A.D.D. that the digital age has created (there’s a post on this coming soon).

I try to listen to all types of music (though country music has just never done anything for me), but my favorite kind of music is the kind  where you can hear the passion and/or emotion in the singers voice. Not necessarily emo, but just anthemic and powerful (Tim McIlrath from Rise Against, for example). While this hipster music is great for just chilling out and listening to in a bar or dancing to in a club, it is not inspiring to me at all. I like distorted guitars and a driving beat. That’s the kind of music that excites me. The only band like that right now that it’s considered “ok” to like is Them Crooked Vultures. And for good reason, they are amazing. But I honestly think most of these hipsters just give them lip service because if you ever talked badly about a band that a former Led Zeppelin member is in, you’d be ex-communicated from the musical community.

I guess the point I am getting at is, hipster music is a trend. Just like everything else that came and went before it. From the fact that all the music sounds generally the same right down to the fact a lot their names make animal references (Grizzly Bear, Bear in Heaven, Animal Collective…etc.), it’s all just a trend and its only a matter of time until it isn’t cool anymore. That usually happens right around the time they are widely popular and everyone in the mainstream is suddenly into it. It may already not be cool to like Animal Collective and I missed the memo. Bottom line is, I don’t care. I’ll continue listening to the bands/artists I like regardless of what some skinny jean, American Apparel hoodie wearing hipster has to say about it. You all just keep thinking you’re so elite and on the cutting edge and I’ll just stand back here and laugh at you like I always have.

It appears that all hopes of a Led Zeppelin reunion without Robert Plant have gone bye bye. And thank God for that. Could you imagine Led Zeppelin with Chris Cornell, Steven Tyler or even worse yet…Myles Kennedy singing for them? John Bonham would probably rise from the dead and beat the living fuck out of Jimmy Page using only his drumsticks. Oh, but there’s even BETTER news in this article:

Thankfully, however, it looks like Creed won’t be reuniting either as plans to draft Alter Bridge singer Myles Kennedy — or any singer for that matter — for Plant’s spot look dead as well. Mensch admits the band auditioned some new frontmen, but “no one worked out.” “That was it. The whole thing is completely over now,” Mensch added. “There are absolutely no plans for them to continue. Zero. Frankly, I wish everybody would stop talking about it.”

Thankfully?! Hahahaha! Even Rolling Stone writers hate Creed! This is fantastic. 2009 now looks about 85% better for music. Now if only we could stop that Limp Bizkit reunion from happening…

It appears cock-rockers Creed are in the middle of planning a reunion tour for 2009. I honestly can’t think of any music news I have heard this year that has made me want to blow my own brains out as much as this has. Scott Stapp is an absolute PR nightmare. I can’t believe anyone in the music industry is even willing to work with him at this point.

While the prospect of Creed reuniting is quite frightening, there was an even MORE disturbing piece of news in this article

…Stapp promptly embarked on a solo career, while guitarist Mark Tremonti, drummer Scott Phillips and original bassist Brian Marshall formed Alter Bridge with vocalist Myles Kennedy and released two albums….However, Kennedy is rumored to be the top contender to replace Robert Plant for a tour with Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones.

So the singer of Alter Bridge (which is basically a second rate Creed) is going to be replacing Robert Plant on tour with Led Zeppelin….WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! Clearly Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones have both lost their minds. Its bad enough they were going to go on tour without Robert Plant, but to replace him with the lead singer of Alter Bridge is just going way too far. Bonham’s rolling in his grave.

The only positive I can see in this whole situation is that if Creed decides to take Nickelback and Hinder on tour with them we can get all three of those bands in the same place and bomb the first arena they play in, also eliminating some of their fans in the process. Anyone reading this have access to explosives?

EDIT: (Quick note to Homeland Security: OBVIOUSLY I’m joking. Please don’t arrest me)